


Dancing Around the Issue

by bjfic_archivist



Category: Queer as Folk (US)
Genre: Canon, Episode Related, Gap Filler, Season/Series 02
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2004-05-09
Updated: 2004-05-09
Packaged: 2018-12-27 02:00:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,699
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12071355
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bjfic_archivist/pseuds/bjfic_archivist
Summary: Justinâ€™s POV.  Gap filler for  episode #213.  Picks up  after Justin comes home late from dancing at Babylon.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Note from IrishCaelan, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [The Brian/Justin Fanfiction Archive](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Brian_Justin_Fanfiction_Archive). To preserve the archive, I began importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in September 2017. I posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [The Brian/Justin Fanfiction Archive collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/bjfic/profile).

Fuck. I turn from him ever so slightly and begin my trip to the bathroom. I pad across the floor, dragging my tired feet a little.

"I guess you can," he says so quietly it is barely audible.

Fuck again. The words hit my back like strong sideways-falling rain. I can literally feel them press into me. My eyes begin to well up, I don’t know if it is because I’m disgusted at what I just did, upset at the forced grin Brian just gave me or scorned by the words that dropped from his lips. I think it is all of the above. 

I pull my shirt swiftly over my head and it falls to the floor beside the sink. I lean over the wood bowl and hold my weight on my outstretched arms. My hands struggle to keep me centered, balanced and standing. I feel overcome with a sickness, an impending doom. I don’t know why I let Gary suck me off. I mean, when he first put the offer on the table I was appalled. My stomach churned and I immediately declined. But then when he said, "well if you wanna make a couple thousand a month," I suddenly changed my way of thinking. I don’t want to have to depend on Brian for everything. I already owe him so much, and he knows it. He lets me live here rent-free, buys me food, buys me clothes. Fuck, he buys me everything I need and then some. I work at the diner to earn pocket money and to seem like I’m contributing in some way, but we both know I don’t. Now, with tuition hanging over my head, well his offer was so generous, but I can’t let him own me. He already does in a way. But school, that’s different, it’s my future and I can’t let him buy my future for me. I need to do this on my own. I just wish there was another way.

I step into the steaming shower, pushing back the lump in my throat and the guilt on my mind. I use both types of body wash that Brian has in the shower and a pale green washcloth to scrub at my skin. I rub it over every inch of my body, concentrating on every inch of my cock. I rub it so hard my skin turns bright red, it’s a little sore, but I continue. I have a demented idea that if I use enough soap, if I rub hard enough, my sins wash down the drain with this steaming hot water. I get lost in the rhythmic motion of my hand encircling my cock, scrubbing away any traces of what I’ve done. I rest my head on my arm, which is up against the front wall of the shower. The water pours down around me and what would normally be erotic, the dick touching deal, is only making me feel worse about what I’ve let someone do to me. And what’s worse than that is I know Brian read every emotion I was trying to hide. I know he knows exactly what happened at the club tonight, why I came home late, and why I get to dance on the bar tomorrow night.

I’m so lost in my own thoughts that I don’t hear the shower door open, or Brian approach me. His hand is removing mine from my cock before I know what’s going on. I whip around to face him half startled and half trying to hide what I was doing, of course I don’t even really know what that is. Brian’s slight smile fades as he soaks in the look on my face, the limpness of my dick and the redness of the skin around it. In classic Brian style there is a moment of emotion that flashes in his eyes, but it passes so quickly I don’t have time to process it or break it down. I stand there, as vulnerable as I’ve ever been in front of him and I wait. For two solid minutes he stares, emotionless, and I stare back. I’m awaiting the inevitable, the "What the fuck were you thinking?" speech from Brian. But, to my utter delight and then suspicion, I don’t get one. When the staring is done, and Brian has thought whatever he’s decided to think about the situation, he reaches out and slides his hand around my left hip. He forcefully pulls my body to him and I land in his arms, my lips on his.

The water rushes in and around us, filling our faces and my tongue struggles to find Brian’s. I love the way he tastes, I don’t ever want to not know what the inside of his mouth feels like, tastes like, looks like. I love it, every inch of it. Inside of these hot, deep, breathless kisses I can almost forget what I was crying over, what I was rubbing myself raw over. He holds me tight and kisses me hard, because that is what Brian knows how to do. Words often escape him, and being with him over time, I have grown to understand the way he copes with things. The way he copes with me. It’s often sex that brings us back together when one or the other of us strays. This relationship we have, if I even dare give it that label, is rooted very deeply in my understanding of who Brian is. I get him in ways no one else does. I called his cards after the first night we met, I knew it scared him then, I know it scares him now. I have to often struggle to shut my mouth around him, things I desperately want to say are choked down, and because I understand they are things he doesn't want to hear. But, the flip side of that coin is that I tell him things other people are afraid to. I tell Brian I love him every day, even though I’ve never once heard it in return. It doesn’t mean he doesn’t love me, I’m quite sure that he does. I can feel it radiate from him. I’ve felt it grow and change and become an amazing force between us. So I say it each day because I think he needs to hear it. Part of me belongs to Brian and he loves that, the ownership. And for his peace of mind, because he can be insecure, although you’d never know it by looking at him, I tell him each day that I do, in fact, belong to him. And in a way Brian belongs to me, as much as Brian Kinney will ever belong to anyone. It is moments like these, when I deserve a scathing verbal beating for what I’ve done but instead I am in the throes of a heart-stopping kiss, that I can tell Brian does love me.

Out of breath with red, scorched skin we make our exit from the shower. Brian towels me off, the whole time he’s half-smiling and it, quite honestly, makes me nervous. Taking the towel from his hands to return the favor I ask him, "What’s with the smirk?"

"What?" his reply is devilish.

I stop running the soft fabric up his chest and stare at him with a raised eyebrow that says, you know what. He adds, "It’s just that sometimes I forget you’re a kid and then I’m painfully reminded, that’s all. It’s amusing I guess."

I don’t know if it’s that he called me a "kid" or that he was right about it that hurts me. But I pull the towel from his lean body and drop it on the floor before retreating from the steamy bathroom. I walk naked across the loft to grab a bottle of water from the fridge, I don’t know if I’m actually thirsty or just looking to get as far away from Brian as I can right now. Moments, that seem like hours, pass as I stand in front of the open refrigerator, already having forgotten why I’m here. Brian slinks up behind me wrapping one arm around me and using his free one to slam the refrigerator door shut. "I already pay for air conditioning, no need to use the refrigerator." I wriggle out of his grip and turn around to face him, almost shocked at his nakedness until I remember my own. While Brian and I both walk around the loft unclothed on a regular basis, at the moment I can’t remember one incident where we’d been in the kitchen, nude, simultaneously. Suddenly the thought strikes me funny. I smile to myself, but quickly remember to put back on my angry face toward Brian.


	2. Dancing Around the Issue

Slipping his hands up to my neck and pulling me in to him, Brian whispers close to my face, "Don’t be mad, I didn’t mean anything…"

I knew I wouldn’t get an apology, and I knew I didn’t deserve one. I’m more mad at myself for being such an ass, than at him for calling me on it. 

I pull back out of his grip and roll my head to the side, "I know." I look away from him, still feeling like he’ll judge me if I look right at him.

"Hey," he grabs my chin, almost roughly, and forces my eyes to him, "let’s drop it, I’m fucking horny." I watch his bedroom eyes soak me in, waiting for my mood to turn. And it does, within moments of his uttering the word "horny." I could never deny Brian sex. It's something we do so well. Even when we are mad enough to kill each other. It makes everything else so trivial when we remember how good we are together. I sigh and let the smile spread across my face, "Okay."

Judging by the tender look, I assume Brian is about to lead me back to the bed, but instead he sweeps up to me, close and fast, forcing me to back into the countertop next to the refrigerator. "Ouch," I half-seriously say as my ass hits the drawer knob. It will definitely leave a little bruise, but I’m sure Brian will kiss it all better. He puts his hands on the counter, on either side of my hips, and presses the entire length of his body into mine, forcing that little drawer knob even further into my skin. He forces his tongue into my mouth hard and fast and we get lost in frantic, panting kisses. Brian is gyrating his body against mine, making my dick stand up and salute in response. I can feel his getting hard too and I push up against him so we can make the descent to the bedroom. He finally backs off a little when he realizes I am pushing to get him off of me. I start to walk away from the counter, "Come on, I want you inside me," I whisper to him as I grab his hand and take the lead.

His feet firmly planted, Brian pulls me back, making me stumble toward him. Catching my arm to restore my balance he smiles wickedly, "No, in here." I look around at the hard countertops, the stainless steel appliances and the wood floor and smile. This could be fun.

"Condom," he demands. He releases my hand, knowing I’ll be right back. I jog to the bedroom, retrieve the condom and return to his side within seconds. Holding it up I make a gesture to him that I’m ready.

"No lube?" The look on his face is inquisitive.

"A little rough is always good." I smile, knowing that after the night I had I deserve a little punishment (if you can call it that.) And Brian loves the extra friction. He nods and sucks his lips in to his mouth to bite them; I can tell he’s getting hotter just thinking about it and it makes my gut tingle.

A look of confusion sweeps over my face when Brian takes the condom from my hand and sets it down on the counter next to the sink. My eyes follow it and then dart up to meet his. I raise an eyebrow in question of what he’s doing. Then he leans in close to me, lips almost touching, and whispers, "Turn around." Still dumbfounded at the turn of events I stand motionless until Brian’s hands fly up and take my shoulders, whisking my around 180 degrees until I’m facing the stove. Taking one of my hands in each of his Brian plants them on the top of the stove while he uses his right leg to kick my feet apart. Trailing his warm, wet tongue from the nape of my neck to the curve in my tailbone, he sends a shiver down my body that resounds in every inch of me. A pool of his spit slides from the small of my back into the crack in my ass and makes me sigh a little. Gripping each side of my ass Brian flicks his tongue all around, teasing me with what’s to come.

Little whimpers begin to escape my mouth as I push my ass backwards toward his face, begging for more. He begins to inch closer to my hole, making his tongue dance in all directions, slowly, methodically plotting its path toward the final destination. I thrust my hips back harder, demanding that he give me what I want, what I need. And, to my utter delight, he does. 

His tongue runs over my hole with just enough pressure to make me pucker and moan. Then he does it again, this time leaving a pool of saliva there. He pulls his head back and blows cool air onto my eager hole, making it cold, making me wince in pleasure. "Fuck Brian," I huff out. He takes that as a cue to slide his tongue inside of me, running it slowly around in circles. He takes full survey of every inch of the muscle ring, making me buck and curse and beg for more. Suddenly Brian pushes my hips forward to gain more leverage and my pulsating stiff dick hits the front of the stainless steel stove. The contact sends me leaping backwards yelping and tumbling over onto Brian. We hit the floor with a loud thump. His body breaks my fall, but I nearly crush him. All we can do is laugh and laugh as we lay on the kitchen floor, bodies entangled, looking upward.

"Fuck me," I breathe out quickly as the fits of laughter subside and I remember what we were doing before I fell over backwards. He stands up and extends his hand to pull me with him. Grabbing the condom from the counter he hands it to me, Brian always likes it when I slide it on his dick. Rolling the latex over his perfect cock I lick my lips and stare into his captivating hazel eyes. Turning around I brace myself against the cabinets, parting my legs, waiting for him to come inside me. Brian, one hand on his dick and one on my hip, bites my shoulder just slightly as he slowly starts to push in to me. It is a little rough without lube, but nothing I can’t handle. Giving a hard thrust to get past the first ring of tight muscle, I grunt at the feeling of him opening me. Then, pushing a little more softly, he slides all the way in one long, fluid motion. Reaching his left arm around my waist he pulls me back into him, letting me adjust to his dick inside me. I gasp for air as he fills me up. "You okay?" he whispers into my ear, his hair tickling my neck. I nod in response and push back into him a little, letting him know he can start thrusting any time. I’m ready. Oh and he does, and it’s so…uh, fuck I love that.

His dick pulses inside me and fits every inch of me, like my hole and his cock were made for each other. He pushes against my prostate in just the right way and I let out a deep, fuck-me-harder moan as I throw my hips back toward him. Brian loves it when I meet his thrusts with enthusiasm, telling him with my body that I want more. I can feel him adjust his feet behind me, getting better balance before he starts fucking my brains out. Feet firmly planted and hands digging into my hips he starts a fast, deep, hard rhythm that makes us both pant and sweat and moan. Fucking standing up is hard work, for both of us, but well worth the effort. I am suddenly reminded of a comment Brian made once about getting his best cardio workouts in bed, I bet he hadn’t thought about the kitchen.


	3. Dancing Around the Issue

Brian is pushing into me so deep and so fast I can almost feel myself lifting off the floor. I roll onto the balls of my feet and lean further over the counter in front of me. Brian trails his right hand up the center of my back, landing on my neck. He grips tightly on the back of my neck, pushing my head down, bending me even further over the counter. This new angle makes his dick feel even better inside me and I start letting deep, throaty moans escape from me. I can hear him saying my name, a little fucking-mantra as he thrusts into me. I love it when he uses my name. Knowing that, because of our rules, he never says anyone else’s name during sex it makes it mean so much to me when he uses mine and he does, often.

Brian pulls me back off the counter with the hand he has clamped around my neck. I fly back into him my back hitting against his chest. This swift motion pushes his dick so far into me that me knees practically buckle beneath me. Holding my weight up as I’m impaled on his dick, Brian laughs a little at my reaction to this. Then he slides the palm of his soft hand down my chest to my dick. Not even actually touching me, but just holding his open hand near the warmth of my throbbing cock, he is making me twitch and wiggle in anticipation. Sliding his index thumb over the tip of my dick he moves the precum around and then slides his whole hand down the length of my shaft. Gripping tightly at the base of my cock he slides his hand up and down, making my breath catch in my lungs, making me wonder if I’ll ever be able to breathe normally again. 

"I wish I could suck your dick and fuck you at the same time," he says so matter-of-factly I think he must be working on a way to do that. Just the thought practically sends me over the edge. I start to feel my orgasm overtaking my body, and I need the release so badly I can’t even consider stopping it. Brian’s hand starts to move more quickly and I take that as a sign that he’s ready for me to cum too. My back arching, my eyes closing, I drop my mouth open and let the inaudible noises spill out as I shoot into Brian’s hand. Holding tight against me I hear him moan deeply, he’s never as loud as I am, as his dick reaps the benefits of each wave of my orgasm. My muscles tense and grip around him, pulling him in and pushing him out. The agony and ecstasy is more than even Brian can handle and he releases inside of me. Grunting and jerking against me he presses his warm palm on my stomach to hold me tight to him. "Fuck, fuck, fuck…" the words come out in hot breaths against my neck and they make me smile.

Orgasms over, the last warm ripples of their effects leaving us, Brian slips out of me and moves back from the counter so I have room to maneuver. Tossing the condom in the trash he rips a paper towel to hand me. We both clean up and then stand in the middle of the kitchen starring at one another. It was the best sex we’d had in a while, and we both know it. Part of me is trying to figure out why that is, part of me knows. He hated that I’d let Sap suck my dick; he wanted to remind me that I belonged to him. He needed to show me that I don’t need to go anywhere else for help; he’s always going to be there to give it to me. He wanted me to see that he loves me, even if he doesn’t say it. He wanted me to remember that there are no locks on our doors; we’re here because we want to be. He wanted to say all of that, maybe more but he doesn’t say a word.

Taking my hand and lacing his fingers in with mine he starts to walk up to the bedroom. For a moment I can tell he’s thinking about the shower, he isn’t too hot on hitting the sheets after a sweaty session. But he looks over his shoulder at me and then climbs into bed. I follow loyally and slide up right next to him. Flinging the sheets up in a puff of air he lays them to rest on our still warm bodies. The cool, slick fabric makes me shiver and Brian pulls me closer to him. I rest my arm across his chest and put my head onto his shoulder. He strokes my hair and I close my eyes. I listen to his hand feather through it, his heart beating slowly and his breathing matching mine. The moment is serene and tranquil and for a second I am lost in its perfection. But then, without warning a dark cloud comes to rest over me and all I can think is…how long can this possibly last?


End file.
